Hail-lo!

Have you guys noticed the weirdness of the password verification words blogs sometimes have you type when you want to submit a comment? Take lardiess for instance. For a second I thought they said lardass and was all "Oh no you didn't! You did not just call me that." But then I came to my senses.  Some of them if said aloud actually sound like "real" words. Take crumai for instance. Crumai crumai crumai... crummy. My personal favorite was ilopher. I love her? Aaaaw, blogspot is such a romantic! 

I was in our apartment buildings fitness center AKA room with a few treadmills and weights. Gotta work on reversing that "bone rot" as my sister so delicately phrases it. Seriously it's a wonder that my skeleton hasn't just crumbled into a little mound of dust. But anyways I'm in there pumping some serious iron (bodybuilder status right here) when I notice that the Dr. Oz program on TV has been interrupted by an emergency speech regarding the psycho weather lately. So I'm looking at the screen thinking about how Arnold Schwarzenegger's face creepily resembles that of a dinosaur. Plus how weird Los Angeles is to have him as a governor and that we seriously are wimps for freaking out over a little rain. The second I think that there's a giant BOOM of thunder and hail starts pouring out the sky. Only in LA would everyone respond to such a thing by running outside while whipping out their camera phones. I'm slightly embarrassed to say I went so far as to touch some fallen hail. It felt like a little ball of ice. Because that is what it was. I don't know what exactly I was expecting though. If you've never felt hail before just go crush up some ice cubes and there you go. 

There should be a reality show that takes place in my apartment's gym. Seriously it would put "Jersey Shore" to shame. Never have I seen so many crazy characters in one room, myself included. When I'm super bored I give them names. For example we have a gentleman who I dubbed Wolverine because he looks exactly like Hugh Jackman from the X-Men movies. Any day now titanium claws are going to come flying out of his knuckles. Not only is this guy ripped but he is a big fan of the wifebeater. And has a super thick Australian accent, which only adds to the Hugh Jackman-ness. Seriously why are all Australians so awesome? Naomi Watts, Eleanor, Hugh Jackman, Nicole Kidman, Katie Laura.... Do the jellyfish inject you with some coolness serum when they sting you or something? I need to move to there ASAP. I wonder if my mom would go along with the idea if I told her it was crucial to my recovery.

Another character who frequents the gym is named (according to me) Pocahontas. She is a spitting image of the Disney character, minus the buckskin mini towel which Disney calls a dress. And I don't think Pocahontas occasionally busted out bumping and grinding to the Flo Rida blasting from her ipod. I suspect she was more a fan on the sound of wind whistling through the trees. And Eminem.

However there is one woman who remains nameless. She is in her late fifties or early sixties and anorexic. I have a freakish ED radar, but anyone with at least one working eye can tell she is clearly very sick. She wears a thick scarf and parka while exercising and looks like one gust of wind could snap her in half. It's not just her appearance, but the palpable intensity and anxiety which emanates from her while she is exercising. How many calories am I burning? What if I don't do as much as yesterday's workout and gain weight? That girl is walking faster than me. Lazy, you should speed up. Don't stop don't stop don't stop. I know that inner soundtrack all too well and feel such sadness for this woman, but feel helpless to do anything. Seeing her also makes me very uncomfortable and fills me with fear. Because she is my future. That is if my ED doesn't kill me first or I don't manage to turn my life around. I may not know yet what I want, but I know what I don't. I don't want to be sixty years old having spent the past forty something years frantically running nowhere in a fruitless attempt to appease the monster in my mind.

"Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, in hospitals dying of nothing."

- Redd Foxx