In this post I mentioned a dream I'd had and how there was an aspect I didn't feel totally comfortable sharing. Without delving into specifics, I've been having vivid recurring dreams with the same disturbing things happening in them. Every morning I wake up from another dream feeling shaken and unsafe. Part of me is scared, because I have a sinking feeling these are repressed events which my brain now feels it's safe to un-repress, and I'm afraid of coming to terms with the truth as it rises to the surface. But part of my brain is totally resistant, insisting that nothing ever happened, I'm overreacting and a total drama queen for making something out of nothing.
Anyways, I woke up yet again today feeling disquieted and unsettled. I decided to go on a "Treasure Hunt" like I used to over the summer. This basically consists of me going for a walk with my camera and looking for beauty in random and unexpected places. It's a really good pick me up. So I grabbed Juan Carlos Jr. Jr. (ipod) and off we went!
(source)
It was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing and there's this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it. And this bag was, like, dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. And that's the day I realized there was this entire life behind things, and... this incredibly benevolent force, that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video's a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember... and I need to remember... Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in.
-American Beauty
Good movie. But that's beside the point. At first I was distracted and still feeling unsettled but as I walked all sorts of hidden loveliness began to reveal itself. Or I became more open to seeing the beauty that is always there. By the time I made my way back home I seriously felt like I was on overload, being assaulted by everyday treasures. Please excuse my divine lack of photography skills, (Seriously, a few months ago I was still using disposable cameras!) but I wanted to share.
Tim Burton-esque ornaments perhaps?
Christmas tree graveyard. RIP.
Whoever decided to put raisin boxes on a fence, I want to shake your hand. And then marry you. If you are not old enough to get married yet, that's okay. I can wait.
So now it's your turn... Whether it was the whiskers on your cat's chin or sunlight streaming through a windowpane, What's something beautiful you noticed today? Either unexpected and random or something that's always there but you rarely take the time to appreciate it?
I do that ALL the time -- take random pictures of beautiful things. When I was a kid, my mom would get mad, because she was paying to develop film of "things" ... thank goodness for digital cameras! ;) I take pictures of everything now, especially things I find amusing that wouldn't translate well into words! (See my "Random Amusements" album on Facebook. ;))
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you're not sleeping well... dreams have such a way of unsettling a person!! I hope you do manage to sort through it all somehow.
<3 <3
aw i love this post- you are so right- beauty is in the eye of the beholder & beauty is everywhere.
ReplyDeletehope oyu get good dreams tonightt
xoxo
shelley
That's SUCH a lovely thing to do. So true often we are too wrapped in our own worlds or rushing through life that we miss out on all the beauty around us. We just need to open our eyes and it's there! So uplifting as well.
ReplyDeleteI really hope your dreams get more cheerful, take those beautiful images into your mind :)
Loveeeeeee xoxo
Are you taking antidepressants? Random question I know, but one of the common side effects is vivid and disturbing dreams. My PTSD related nightmares were ten times as bad when I used to take meds. I really hope you get an undisturbed night's sleep soon <3 nightmares are horrible. I know I've said it before, but you're always welcome to send me a message if you want to talk about anything, I have been there and done that unfortunately *hug*
ReplyDeleteI love the raisin boxes, that's so funny!!
hahah christmas tree graveyard. you are too cute. that's freud for ya--repressed memories coming up in dreams. you should definitely talk to your therapist about that. also, there are tons of books out there to try to interpret what they may mean--maybe that will help you to solve your repressed issues so the dreams will stop.
ReplyDeletestay strong love! those pics were beautiful.
love,
becca
Until you asked about finding beauty today, I hadn't noticed any. So I took a moment, looked around, thought back to how the day has gone.. and realized that earlier, when the sunlight began streaming through the window after the storm.. that was complete and utter beauty. Thank you for making me see that every day brings with it a kind of beauty, one just needs to take the time to see and appreciate it. :)
ReplyDeleteI hope you find beauty within your dreams too. <3
hey! you are absolutely right :) i think sometimes we just need to open our eyes and look at the beauty around us. i never realize how amazing things are until i really pay attention to them. sorry about the dreams! just keep thinking positive thoughts and looking at the warm wonder around you ;) have an amazing friday night!
ReplyDeletexoxo ♥
soph
i'm sorry you're having upsetting dreams. i've experienced those too, and i wouldn't wish them on my worst enemy. i hope you'll be able to get a break from whatever it is that is bothering you otnight! raisin boxes on fences is pretty funny. aww xmas trees are lying all over the place here too, sad.
ReplyDeleteI love these pictures. You're a wonderful photographer.
ReplyDeleteLOVE this. so important to take a step back and thank God for the beauty!! i love sunsets :)
ReplyDeleteRepressed memories can be freaky :o I know when I started therapy I started to remember things that I had completely blocked out. It's amazing what our brains can do eh?
ReplyDeleteI love that you brightened your mood with the beauty of the world :) hehe.. I always find beauty in the slow brightening of the day: I get up so early that I watch the sky turn from black to light as I eat my breakfast... and that is beautiful :D
xox
Tat
Photographing things has the ability to make you look for more simple beauty in the world, and your pictures are very pretty :) I'm glad you were able to brighten your mood with the beauty in the world.
ReplyDeleteSomething beautiful I noticed today was the way the sun was hitting the ice crystals of the snow and making them sparkle... very pretty.
I'm glad someone else likes my puns ;)
ReplyDeleteI agree with everyone else that you have a real talent and skill when it comes to photography ~ they're hidden treasures in themselves!
It's not a particularly original element of beauty, but a few days ago when I was running through the woods two deer just hopped straight out in front of me. They didn't run, or even flinch. They seemed completely at peace with me. In fact when I looked back they were just skipping off at a leisurely pace into the distance. It brought a tear to my eye to feel so connected to nature and the animal kingdom, even for that brief moment.
Great post topic!
<3
~Jess~
The most beautiful thing I noticed today was the fact that my curves are starting to come back.
ReplyDeleteI think I will definitely have to go on one of your treasure hunts once it isn't cold outside anymore; it sounds like so much fun! I wish someone would put raisin boxes on a fence here - maybe I should? Haha (:
-Kylee
PS - my iPod's name is Lorenzo, I thought you should know!
Oh dear. I'm sorry you are not having a good sleep these days. I've had those days, too, when I'd just have really disturbing dream which I'll forget as soon as I get up, but will still weigh heavily in my heart. Do you have something that is particularly bothering you these days?
ReplyDeleteOne beauty today: This isn't a view, but a sound. My parents randomly called, and the sound of their voices were SO beautiful to me. :-)