Lazy Sunday.

Hello lovebugs! I've always wanted to call someone a lovebug, but the opportunity never presented itself.

Thank you so SO much for your supportive and caring words yesterday. Countless times throughout the day when I was struggling or getting scared I read them for a little motivation jolt, like a super caffeinated cup of coffee for my courage. You are all so amazing and I'm incredibly glad to have "met" each and every single one of you. Don't be telling yourself, "Oh she's talking about everyone but me." That's what I always think, but it's not true! I know in the past I would have reacted in a very different way just a few months ago, angrily storming into another room to self harm or exercise and leaving the food on the table for my mother to find. But this time was different, and I believe being inspired by your (Yes, you too!) determination and strength played a part in it.

I've been continuing to implement the increase despite the cyclic anxious/angry/terrified thoughts swirling in my head at all times. The hardest part is constantly having this going on inside myself and not without an outlet of some sort (besides blogging) or someone I can talk to. It's difficult to hear people talk about how close they are with their mother and how she is their best friend or biggest support in recovery. While I'm happy for these people, I wish I could have that kind of relationship with my mom too. It makes me sad that not only can I not tell her what's going on, but I can't have her involved in my recovery at all. For so many reasons, not even considering her own disorder and how it plays a part in mine. 

Total randomness follows, but whatever. A family in our apartment building gave Rosie this terrifying life-sized stuffed basset hound for Christmas and every morning when I walk into the living room-ish area I think the stuffed animal lying on Rosie's blanket is Rosie. This morning as I entered the room I told myself that I wasn't falling for that whole mind game again... Except the dog lying on the blanket actually was Rosie. And I got totally confused because I thought she was the stuffed animal. Just goes to show how action packed my Sunday has been so far, that this is the highlight of the day.

Rosie resting with her doppelgänger after an exhausting day eating underwear and waging war on the world.  

Isn't it creepy looking? I think it's the eyes...

Again, thank you for your support. I don't know what I did to deserve such kindness, but I so appreciate it. I wish there was a way to express my gratitude, like making collages of all the things you "are" from the Essence Game or something. I just might do it, so keep on answering the questions! I hope your weekend is going well and that your Monday isn't too painful.

If I were a _______, I would be...

Holiday- Day of the Dead

Profession- children's book illustrator

Superhero- Poison Ivy

Hairstyle- bun/chignon

Gum- citrus mint

Ice cream flavor- dreamsicle

(source)